Years ago a friend looked at my resume and asked how I found jobs at so many well known companies. My answer was simple. I never applied to a position at a company I did not want to work for. I could not help, but end up in places where I wanted to be. I woke up one day years ago to realize that I applied that to my professional life, but not my personal life. I expended more effort and did more research when seeking a job than when I made personal decisions. My professional resume was doing well, but my personal resume much less so. That had to change. Once I learned to stop looking for success where there was no success to be found the quality of my life improved greatly.
To put a finer point on it years ago while in NY there was much external pressure on my wife and I to purchase a house. The TV said the time was right. Our friends said the time is right. Thankfully I had finally learned that to make a good decision for the now you must first measure it against long term goals, ignore the Joneses, and count the costs.
Measuring it against your long term goals.
- While we lived in NY my wife and I both knew we were destined to one day move to NC. If we were impatient and bought a house in NY while the prices were high we would have not been able to respond when God made the call to NC. It would have taken much time, great effort, and a pile of money we did not have to buy a house in NY, but God delivered a house 4 days after my arrival in NC. I often joke that I could not get a loan for a tic tac in NY, but we were approved the first and only place we applied in NC. Buying a house in NY would have satiated our short term wants, but would have directly contradicted what we both knew was the long term plan God had for us in NC. We knew if we did our best to be obedient our patience would be rewarded.
Keeping up with the Joneses
- There was a time when many good friends and acquaintances were purchasing homes all around the tri-state area. Ones natural reaction is to want to join in, and we were certainly bitten by the house buying bug. It seemed that for the most part we were in the same position as others who made the leap and those famous last words reared their head “If every one else is doing it, surely there must be a way for us to do it.” Here is the thing. Everyone is different. What is right for one is not for all. Perhaps it was their time to be blessed, and not ours. Lastly we do not know what others sacrificed to get what they got. Some who we were to follow do not have theirs homes now unfortunately. Furthermore some we were to follow do not have their marriages. More tragically some have neither. Do not be hasty to follow others. Their destination may not be where you want to go.
Counting the cost
- I was recommended to speak with an acquaintance that was a mortgage broker once and after some back and forth he soundly declared he was certain I could get a mortgage. I did not fill out a single mortgage application. My goal was not to get a mortgage approved, but rather obtain and keep a house. There was much more to buying a house than getting a mortgage. That was the easy part. Paying for it was the difficult part. The monthly mortgage payment roughly equaled our current Co-Op maintenance payments and was for a sum of money that would only purchase a decades old glorified bungalow with a postage stamp backyard at that time. Who would then pay for the taxes, insurance, utilities, replace a failed appliance, etc…? No thank you. I was not willing to pay the price. “They” would say “Interest rates are at an all time low.”, to which I replied “An overinflated market has driven the prices to an all time high, well above actual worth. What goes up must come down (as it did not long after with a vengeance). Plus I can refinance a high interest rate, but once bought I cannot renegotiate an overinflated purchase price. Move out north or east to a different County or State even “they” would say. What good comes of buying a house for my family so far from my job that I leave before they wake and arrive home not long before they sleep? The best present my father gave me as a child was his presence and I intended to provide my children with the same. We did our research, counted the costs and we were not willing to pay the price.
So then God did ultimately give NC the green light and in 6 weeks we both found State jobs and had purchased a house after years of waiting. A testimony to the power of patience.
- Applied for only one mortgage and was approved.
- Only looked for a house for one day and found it on that day.
- Put in an offer on only one home and received it.
- Applied for only one job and they called.
- Only went on one interview and received it. Still working there to this day.
After 6 years of waiting we were blessed beyond our capabilities and dreams over the course of 6 weeks. I experienced it first hand and I still have a hard time believing it.
Isaiah 40:31 (King James Version) 31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Many of us (myself very much included) have short changed ourselves by putting in applications where we had no business being, seeking to satisfy a temporary want. We live in an impatient world and in impatient times which often urges us to accept that which is before us. Relationships we had no business being in. Friends we had no business being around. Jobs we had no business taking. Living arrangements we had no business being in. Business deals we had no business being in. Do not simply accept what is before you, when the Lord has so much more in store for your life.
Wait on the Lord, do not settle on what you see. You will catch that which you diligently pursue. Apply only for that which you have been promised and in God’s time you will receive it. I am a witness.
God bless,
Eric
